The kids are alright?

No, they're not.

You know those moments when you slowly realize you're becoming your parents.
How you swore up and down that you wouldn't be like them.
Yeah.

Do you look back and realize how stupid you were as a teenager?

"It's only teenage wasteland."

Superbowl predictions

Ditka will take over as coach of the Bears for the Superbowl: 10000 to 1

Peyton Manning will cower in terror of the awesome skill of Rex . . . sorry can't finish that.

Probability of SNL bringing back the "Superfans" skit on Saturday night: 10 to 1

Marino will cry like a baby when thinking about never winning a Superbowl: 1 million to 1

In private: 10 to 1

Commercials will suck: 5 to 1

overspent?: even

Final score of the game: Bears by a touchdown

(I'm being cautious)

Da Bears!

Ditka, we love you.